Miss Wilton's Waltz Read online

  Other Proper Romances

  by Josi S. Kilpack

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  Forever and Forever

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  Other Titles by Josi S. Kilpack

  The Sadie Hoffmiller

  Culinary Mystery Series:

  Lemon Tart, English Trifle, Devil’s Food Cake, Key Lime Pie,

  Blackberry Crumble, Pumpkin Roll, Banana Split, Tres Leches Cupcakes,

  Baked Alaska, Rocky Road, Fortune Cookie,

  Wedding Cake, Sadie’s Little Black Recipe Book

  © 2018 Josi S. Kilpack

  All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any means without permission in writing from the publisher, Shadow Mountain®, at [email protected]. The views expressed herein are the responsibility of the author and do not necessarily represent the position of Shadow Mountain.

  Visit us at ShadowMountain.com

  This is a work of fiction. Characters and events in this book are products of the author’s imagination or are represented fictitiously.

  Proper Romance is a registered trademark.

  Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

  Names: Kilpack, Josi S., author. | Sequel to: Kilpack, Josi S. Vicar’s daughter.

  Title: Miss Wilton’s waltz / Josi S. Kilpack.

  Description: Salt Lake City, Utah : Shadow Mountain, [2018]

  Identifiers: LCCN 2017037099 | ISBN 9781629724133 (paperbound)

  Subjects: LCSH: Music teachers—England—Bath—Fiction. | Man-woman relationships—Fiction. | Bath (England), setting. | GSAFD: Regency fiction. | LCGFT: Romance fiction. | Novels.

  Classification: LCC PS3561.I412 M57 2018 | DDC 813/.54—dc23

  LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2017037099

  Printed in the United States of America

  PubLitho, Draper, UT

  10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

  Prologue

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Chapter Seventeen

  Chapter Eighteen

  Chapter Nineteen

  Chapter Twenty

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  Chapter Thirty

  Chapter Thirty-One

  Chapter Thirty-Two

  Chapter Thirty-Three

  Chapter Thirty-Four

  Chapter Thirty-Five

  Chapter Thirty-Six

  Chapter Thirty-Seven

  Chapter Thirty-Eight

  Epilogue

  Acknowledgments

  Discussion Questions

  About the Author

  As a vicar’s daughter, Lenora knew that doing the right thing was not always easy, in fact it was rarely so. It was right that Evan Glenside had broken his engagement to Lenora after realizing he’d fallen in love with her sister Cassie. It was right that Lenora had stood up to her parents after they had forbidden Cassie and Evan from seeing each other. It was right that tomorrow morning Cassie and Evan would marry in Father’s church and begin their lives together. There was comfort in having been an essential part of so much rightness, but it was not easy.

  All her life, Lenora had been known in Leagrave as the shy Wilton girl. The daughter of the vicar who struggled to maintain eye contact, who kept to herself, and whose only friends were her five sisters. Lenora was used to that, but the number of consoling looks sent in her direction since the broken engagement and the whispered gossip made it impossible for her to stay here.

  “Poor girl,” the neighbors were surely saying in piteous tones. “Such a strange little thing.”

  And Lenora just kept playing the pianoforte, providing background music to everyone’s life while hiding behind her instrument.

  The guests were slowly leaving the informal gathering on the eve of the wedding, and Lenora kept her eyes on the music as her fingers moved over the keys with tender exactness. There were still a few people in the room—mostly extended family who had come for the wedding—when Mother put her hand on Lenora’s shoulder, her way of saying that Lenora could stop after this piece.

  Once she’d finished, Lenora attempted to slide out of the room before anyone drew her into conversation. More often than not, when people addressed her, she would stare at the floor, fidget like a child, and make everyone uncomfortable.

  Two more days, she told herself, and her stomach filled with butterflies—some fluttering due to nerves, but some due to excitement and relief.

  Lenora was nearly out of the drawing room when Cassie took her arm. She’d thought her younger sister was still making sparkling conversation with their guests. Sometimes Lenora felt like Cassie had received Lenora’s portion of social graces, as though such abilities were slices of cake. “Two for Cassie and—I’m sorry, Lenora, there’s none left for you.” But then maybe Lenora got Cassie’s musical portion. She didn’t mind too much because, given the choice, Lenora preferred music and her own company. And yet, that was changing too. At least it had been in Bath, where she’d escaped for a little while. Then she’d come back home to Leagrave and picked up the role she’d always played—the shy prodigy.

  “Walk with me in the yard?” Cassie whispered.

  Lenora wished she could object, but she didn’t know when she would come back to Leagrave. This might be the last time she and Cassie talked privately for a long time.

  “Please,” Cassie added, apparently sensing Lenora’s hesitation.

  They left the vicarage by the back entrance and stepped into the quiet yard. The night was cool, and Lenora looked around at the familiar landscape, bathed in silver from the half-moon. She would miss this. She would miss them, and yet she was ready. She could feel it in a way she’d never felt before. Her future would be in Bath; her past would remain in Leagrave.

  “Are you all right?” Cassie asked amid the sound of night birds and crickets.

  The concern in Cassie’s voice was sincere, reminding Lenora that although she often felt separate from her family, she was a part of them. She took comfort in knowing that she would always be a part of them, even if she was not with them. “I am.” Lenora patted her younger sister’s hand and gave her a reassuring smile she hoped would help prove her words.

  “But you would not tell me if you weren’t,” Cassie said, a note of regret in her tone. “In fact, no one would be able to tell because you keep your thoughts so very much to yourself.”

  “That I keep my thoughts to myself does not mean I am not all right.” Lenora faced Cassie, gathering her courage in hopes that her sister would hear her sincerity. “I have no regrets of what has happened, and I truly want you and Evan to be happy. Please do not let assumptions of m
y feelings detract you.”

  Cassie paused, her face relaxing. “I don’t doubt that you want us to be happy—that is what is so remarkable.”

  “It is not so remarkable,” Lenora said, shaking off the compliment. She was not distraught over the broken engagement or that Evan had fallen in love with Cassie. Lenora had not loved him, she’d simply seen him as the solution to the awkwardness of her social position. Being a man’s wife—any man’s wife—would give her a place, allow her parents to breathe a sigh of relief, and secure her future. It was all she’d ever wanted, and Evan’s brief courtship was the closest she’d ever been to attaining that goal. But now that was over, and her goals were different. “This is right, and my knowing it gives me peace.” She hoped Cassie would believe her.

  Cassie cocked her head to the side as she regarded her older sister as though seeing her differently. The idea increased Lenora’s confidence even more. If someone else recognized the changes that had been taking place within Lenora these last months, then the change was not a figment of her imagination. “And what shall you do, now?” Cassie asked. “What will your future hold?”

  Lenora looked away, but the temptation to tell Cassie was nearly overpowering. Two more days, she told herself. That was when she would tell her parents. But what if she told Cassie now? Would it be wisdom or folly? Lenora stepped away and crossed her arms over her chest as she looked across the yard.

  Cassie allowed the silence for a moment, but she’d never been one to wait very long. “I have sensed that you do not plan to stay in Leagrave once the wedding is over.”

  Lenora looked at her with sharp surprise, then turned back to the trees. The desire to share her plans increased now that Cassie suspected something. “I do not want to detract from the wedding.”

  When Cassie spoke, her voice was soft. “So you will not stay?”

  “Aunt Gwen left me with an open invitation to return to Bath and . . . I am different there.”

  “You mentioned that when you spoke to Papa.”

  And yet no one has asked me what I meant by it, Lenora thought, then shook off the criticism. Being one of eight children meant that you were heard when you spoke up and demanded attention. Lenora demanded nothing. But now Cassie was asking, and Lenora was ready to answer.

  “I attend Aunt Gwen, and rather than speaking around me, she pulls me in to conversations and forces me to share my opinions. It was overwhelming in the beginning, but in time I realized that I was capable.” She turned and met her sister’s eyes. “It began with your advice to smile and focus on my breathing, and then, though it was ill-fated, my time with Mr. Glenside forced me to step further out of the circle of my comfort. I thought any progress to be worthless when I left for Bath, but in fact that became a starting point.” Lenora was still uncomfortable in a crowd, but she was getting better at meeting people and being seen as her own person rather than one of the vicar’s daughters, and the shy and awkward one at that.

  “And so you will seek your future in Bath?” Cassie asked.

  “For now,” Lenora said, unsure what her long-term plans might be. Four months ago, she would never have imagined this change, and it was oddly scintillating to not know where this new journey would take her. Cassie had always been the adventurous one, the sister who took her own path and never allowed herself to be overlooked. Lenora would never be Cassie, but recently she’d found more strength than anyone knew she had and there were times when she imagined that she might discover even more hidden aspects of her character. It was exciting to feel as though she were getting to know herself the same way she was getting to know other people.

  Cassie was still waiting for an answer.

  “I have no regrets of what has happened, Cassie. I see the place it has taken each of us, but I hear the whispers too. I feel the pity. It will take time for the gossip to settle, I think, and perhaps even longer for Papa to fully agree that this was the right choice.” She smiled but then shrugged, belying the seriousness of what she would say next. “Beyond that, I have come to realize that I was raised with one expectation for my future—a husband and children. I never doubted it would happen or that it was the only path for happiness. I am twenty-three years old, and I have had one man cry off from his engagement and marry my younger sister. My prospects are poor.”

  Cassie winced.

  Lenora put her hand on her sister’s arm and smiled sympathetically. “I have no regrets, but society will keep its score. For so long I have lived amid panic that if I do not marry, I shall have no joy or purpose at all. I no longer feel that way, Cassie. I have seen another side.”

  Cassie did not seem to understand. “What side?”

  “One of independence, confidence, and comfort in my own company.” She’d said it—out loud! Speaking the words confirmed the truth of them to Lenora even more.

  Cassie gasped. “You are not spurning marriage?”

  “I am no longer expecting marriage to define my future. In fact,” she paused, then rushed forward, invigorated by sharing confidences, “I have looked into a position as a music teacher at a girl’s school in Bath. Aunt Gwen has been helping me. We met with the headmistress just before I left.”

  Cassie’s mouth fell open, but no words came out.

  Lenora felt an unexpected deliciousness at having surprised her sister. Lenora never surprised anyone.

  Finally, Cassie spoke. “Mama and Papa will not be pleased.”

  “No, they will not,” Lenora said, her smile falling as she considered the very real pain this would cause her parents. “Which is why I will wait until after the wedding to tell them.” Her plans were already in motion, however, with the help of Aunt Gwen, who seemed to understand, without Lenora having to explain it, how much she needed a different life. Lenora did not want to hurt anyone by her choices, but she would not sacrifice her happiness either. “I hope to return to Bath by September so I might be situated at the school in time for the new semester.”

  “But if you become an independent woman . . .” Cassie trailed off, as though unsure how to complete her sentence without giving offense.

  “I may never marry,” Lenora finished for her. Men sought out young women in drawing rooms not classrooms. “I know that, and I am at peace with it.”

  “Are you truly?” Cassie sounded stunned. If her reaction was this strong, how on earth would their parents react?

  Lenora took both of Cassie’s hands and smiled. “Truly. I have come to realize that if I cannot be pleased with myself, I cannot be pleased with anyone else. A husband cannot make me whole. I must do that for myself.” Bath had shown her the potential of finding that wholeness, and she would make any sacrifice necessary to be comfortable in her own skin.

  “And you think teaching is the answer to finding that wholeness?”

  “I do,” Lenora said, then added, “for now.”

  Cassie blinked back tears. “I feel responsible for this.”

  Lenora smiled. “Then I hope you take pride in that responsibility because I have never been more excited about my future. I get to fill my days with music and make my own way in the world. I want you to be happy for me.” Lenora rarely felt like the older sister, but at that moment, she did.

  Cassie paused, and then pulled her shoulders back and lifted her chin. “Then I shall be. I feel that after spending our entire lives together I am only just now beginning to know you.”

  Lenora laughed. “I feel the same.” She took Cassie’s arm and turned her back toward the house. “I do hope amid your wedded bliss that you will find time to write to me so we might become the sisters we ought to have been.”

  “I shall write to you every week.”

  They walked in silence until they reached the back door of the house, then Cassie turned to face Lenora one last time. “I can never thank you enough for forgiving me and giving me the chance to be with Evan. It would not have happened wit
hout you.”

  Her gratitude warmed Lenora’s heart. “You can thank me by soaking up every bit of happiness you can.”

  Cassie shook her head. “You are too good, Lenora. What else can I do? Surely there is something else.”

  Lenora paused a moment. “You can pray for me, Cassie. Pray that I find the same happiness you have found, one way or another.”

  “I shall do so every day.”

  Lenora gave Cassie’s hand a final squeeze. “Then be happy. It is everything I want for you and Evan both.”

  The sisters shared an embrace and went inside.

  Because of their houseguests, Lenora and Cassie were sharing Cassie’s room, but Lenora could not sleep. Long after Cassie’s breathing had evened out, Lenora slipped out of bed, into her dressing gown, down the stairs, into the boots she always left by the back door, and outside into the night.

  She had started her Night Walks, as she called them, a few years earlier on a night where she felt fit to burst with anxiety after enduring a disastrous social event where she’d done everything wrong, as usual. The soft sound of the stream behind their home had always soothed her, but that had been the first time she’d gone at night. Once at the stream, she appreciated the increased stillness she found there, and the bindings in her chest loosened until the emotion released itself. She had cried into her hands, mourning everything that was wrong about herself.

  She’d returned to the river at least a dozen times since then, always on the heels of something overwhelming, when she needed to express what she could not at home. Tonight, she did not need to cry, she just needed the peace and comfort the river gave her as she prepared to leave Leagrave, likely forever.

  Two more days, and she would leave the pity behind. Two more days, and she would not be known as the vicar’s daughter who must watch her every step. Two more days, and she would be free.

  Two Years Later

  The third button on Mr. Harpshod’s waistcoat was of a different design than the other four. Lenora wondered if the man’s valet had sewn it on prior to tonight’s dinner party without time to find a better match. She imagined Mr. Harpshod putting on this favorite vest—silver filigree upon black silk—realizing the button was missing, and bellowing for help. She imagined him huffing and grubbing and running his fingers through his thinning hair while saying things like “Would you look at the time?” and “I’ve half a mind to turn you out completely, Justin.” Or David or maybe Bartholomew. Did valets have names such as Bartholomew? Would they be called by their surname? As a vicar in a small hamlet, Lenora’s father had never had a valet.